DAY TEN + ELEVEN
Today is officially the start of WEEK TWO. What a difference a week makes. I actually took a shower forgetting that I had all of these contraptions attached to me. I put on a tee shirt over my head today, though goodness knows how I will get it off. It is the little things that I have taken for granted that make me so grateful for my health and wellness despite this diagnosis.This is where the healing fork in the road begins, you know that place where you start to feel really good, your energy is much higher too and you say to yourself, “I can fold those clothes or put those dishes away or change the sheets,”(yes I feel that good).
Here’s the thing I am absolutely convinced of going forward for anyone who has the misfortune of this diagnosis and let’s be frank, breast cancer these days seems as common as the common cold, being fit going in will save your ass on the other side. Let’s say you just found out you have to have surgery or something and you have at least a few weeks before you get rushed in. Even better, you don’t have a diagnosis, but based on the fact that it seems every corner you turn, someone you know has been diagnosed, there is a likelihood that a diagnosis of some sort may be looming in your future, I propose a breast cancer boot camp to prepare your body for what’s to come. I am totally convinced that if it weren’t for all of my fitness classes (and staying away from those PVD Donuts, sorry Michelle M.) my stellar recovery would be at a much different pace.
I am not suggesting that if you are “wicked” out of shape, thirty days till your surgery is going to lead to a mind blowing recovery, but I also know that if you go to that really easy place to get to, the “fuck it I have cancer” place, your recovery will suck the life out of you. So what is alayne’s version of breast cancer boot camp? Picture a diamond shape, this isn’t pretty, but you get the point.
Everything listed is super important in our inner and outer health. Of course as I am still trying to get through my thick skull, it is Progress NOT perfection. Perfection is set up to fail so this is part of my overall work with my new friend, Patience. The four areas on the outside: food, movement, breathing and sleep are the biology of our needs. So for thirty days or ten, whatever time you have to get your bad ass self ready for battle because surgery is like battle. You will be scarred, your body will be insulted with chemical warfare, weapons and your healing powers need to be in tip top shape so they can be activated to their full potential. I think of all four elements the areas that were the most important in my healing were deep breathing, strength and core work. As far as food went, I am a really healthy eater for the most part, but I highly recommend WHOLE 30 https://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/ as a thirty day plan to get your food situation in order. If you are rolling your eyes at me, fuck the food, but at least do the fitness.
Wait a minute before I free the food piece from your consciousness, the main reason I tend to eat clean has nothing to do with weight and pounds, I released that yoyo bullshit a long time ago when I decided to stop stepping on the demoralizing scale. I eat clean because it makes my brain happier and way calmer. When I am off kilter with eating, I am an emotional rollercoaster. So far in all of my writings I have been a pretty open book about who I am on the inside, but the depth of despair, weakness and insecurity brain that kicks in when I am high on sugar and carbohydrates is not pretty. I can disguise it pretty well, but it is a madwoman force that I have to wrestle down to the ground. That madwoman I speak of totally disappears when sugar and carbohydrates disappear, oh yeah and wine too, sorry. Sugar, carbs and wines affect your natural sleep pattern too. And we need sleep, we need good sleep or else we get a little crazy, just ask a new mom. So when the emotional rollercoaster of a diagnosis shows its face, the first thing we all want to do is run to the sugar container, or our wine rack, it is exactly the opposite of what we need to be doing to get our bodies ready for battle
If you are blatantly out of shape, like when you walk up a flight of stairs you get out of breath, just focus on walking up and down a small flight of stairs a few times a day and do planks http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-the-Plank-Exercise every day even if you can only do one for five seconds. This is the best core builder and this core will help you get your ass out of a bed and into a bed and up from the couch in a way that will help you when you can’t use your upperbody strength at all (and you won’t). I think a track is a great (and private) way to start moving. Walk the track, try to jog a little between your walk and even better, walk the stadium steps, that will whip your legs and ass into shape faster than you can imagine.
While you are at it, do some deep breathing, you will have anyway since your heart will be working a little differently than you may be used to. This is a pretty good article on breathing https://www.womentowomen.com/exercise-and-lifestyle/deep-breathing/2/ . The funny thing is as I looked for articles on breathing, the ads that were all over the articles were filled with drug sponsors. So much easier to pop a pill than use our natural God given bodies I suppose, but not for me. I refuse to get sucked into the pharma vortex.
Anyway as I reread this writing today, it is a little all over the place, I said to Michael this morning (partner, not son, Michael) that I am feeling a little ADD today. We both concluded that before going in to surgery I was preparing for battle, but coming out I have given myself a pretty free pass. Walking, breathing, creating and laughing as much as I am capable of, yes, but sugar and carbs also. For some reason I crave them (stress lures me to them and so does every girlfriend I have as the quantity of treats that continue to appear at my doorstep is astounding). So I am not drinking because Oxy and alcohol is a terrible mix but today as amazing as I feel, I can also feel distraction head as I dart from one project to the next with a lack of direction and purpose that I usually have. But fuck it, it has only been one full week so my two week pass is almost up and if PVD donuts find their way to my doorstep, I will not hesitate.